The Past is Over
by talking-eye
Summary: My take on 3.18. Parts 1528 added. Originally posted on MTC
1. Chapter 1

Originally posted on MTC. I will try to finish it by Wednesday.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

1  
Cristina cornered him into the pantry and folded her arms. "Why do you have to be here? Why now?"

"To be the new Chief!" Marlow smirked as he tried to pull Cristina to him.

"Stop it. You know this isn't right," Cristina blushed uncomfortably as she tried to avoid the cocky yet familiar gaze on her from her professor.

_When was the last time he looked at her that way? _ Cristina pushed her curls to the back of her ears as she propelled her to stay balanced on her feet.

"Well, there're a lot of things I thought I knew but I don't. For example, how could anyone possibly imagine that you, Cristina Yang, would choose to get married some day?" Marlow squint his eyes.

Silence hovered the room like a ghost. The hissing noise from the coffee maker intensified each second as the level of discomfort rose in Cristina's heart.

Wiping her sweaty palms on her scrubs, Cristina finally spoke again.

"Yeah, I'm getting married, to a good man, to someone I can trust." _Someone unlike you._

"Why didn't you trust me, my precious pet?" Marlow's face twitched a bit. "I am a surgeon too. Rich, smart, and famous. As a matter of fact, I was, and will always be smarter and more famous than your husband-to-be."

As Cristina tried to walk out of the room, Marlow caught her hand and didn't let go, just then, Burke entered, his face as dark as the dimly-lit room.

Leaving the two men fighting for her affection in the same room alone might not be a good idea, but Cristina was too shocked to say anything to ameliorate the situation.

"Can we not talk about this anymore?" Cristina felt the glowing rage in Burke's eyes as she begged to leave the room. "I have to work."

2  
"Dr. Marlow," Burke flexed his hand as he spoke.

"Call me Colin. So I hear that you're gonna marry my precious pet?" Marlow didn't give Burke a chance to cool down. "She's hot, isn't she? Hard to find a woman who's got skills both in the OR and in the bedroom."

"Dr. Marlow. You realize I am not interested in discussing my fiancée with another man?" Burke took a deep breath.

"Not if you're really interested in who she was," Marlow thought he had the upper hand and grinned. "Aren't you ever curious to find out? I would be if I were you, especially because she has never told you about me or the others, I suppose."

Burke could feel his nails digging deep into the flesh on his palm.

"It is the Cristina Yang at this present moment, in year 2005, that I love. It is the Cristina Yang in the future, that I look forward to loving. The past is, well, not important."

"Dude, you're so good with words! Is that why Cristina said yes to you?" Marlow rolled his eyes and marveled at Burke's manifestation of love. "For a heart surgeon, you do have a very tender heart. Just watch out before you get ripped apart."

"Thank you for your advice, although I think you have a greater need for that," Burke almost wanted to kick the new guy in his stomach. But of course, Preston Burke wasn't a man of violence and so he contained his anger in his stare.

"Chill, man. I'm not here to stir up trouble. I miss my precious pet and I want to know how she's doing. That's all." Marlow flashed his hallmark grin again and made an irritating bow, "Have a good day, Dr. Burke."

Burke was still sweating after the door was shut. He could hear his own heart racing at the pace of a rocket.

_They were getting married. Why did this guy have to show up at this time to disrupt everything?_

Instinctively, Burke went to look for Cristina.

3  
"Cristina, you lied to me," Meredith placed her hand on her cheeks as she sat side by side with Cristina in the gurney down in the basement.

"What?" Cristina, in the exact same posture as her best friend, responded absent-mindedly. "I'm in big trouble, Mer. Big trouble."

"You said you've never been in a serious relationship before," Meredith paused, "And now you're telling me this Dr. Marlow asked you to marry him only three years ago?"

"You can ask someone to marry you even if you're not serious about a relationship," Cristina said doubtfully.

"I think Burke is very serious about the two of you," Meredith said cautiously.

"Oh yeah, that's very insightful of you," Cristina snorted. "He's probably roaming the building in search of me now. God, I'm so going to hell."

"But really, what happened between the two of you? That old professor and you, I mean."

"It was nothing," Cristina pulled off the rubber band on her ponytail and started playing with it.

"It doesn't look like nothing to me when he grabbed your ass," Alex Karev overheard the conversation and began smirking from afar.

"Shut it, Evil Spawn. What do you know about dirty old guys, apart from the fact that you'll become one some day?" Cristina snapped.

"Okay, that means he was just a dirty old man trying to harass you while you're studying under him?" Meredith sort of hoped what she said was the reality, even if it couldn't explain the previous marriage proposal she just learned about from Cristina.

"It's been so long ago," Cristina jumped off the gurney. "Now, people, you gotta help me think of a way to talk to Burke."

"We can't help if we don't know the details," Alex replied with a grin on his face.

"What do you want to know?" Cristina bit her lips.

"Why were you attracted to him?"

"Why is that relevant?" Cristina frowned.

"You sleeping with Burke still makes some sense to me because he's kinda hot, even in a man's eyes. But that wrinkled old guy? Were you really that power-hungry?" Alex shook his head.

Cristina was speechless.

4  
"Oh My God! Tell me you weren't in love!" Meredith's eyes bulged out as she saw the embarrassment on Cristina's face.

"I was young," Cristina leaned on the wall, her hands on her hips.

"Wait, it wasn't just a fling?" Alex was as shocked as Meredith. "It wasn't just because you wanted to advance your career?"

"Unlike you, Evil Spawn, I don't need to sleep my way through medical school," Cristina fought back.

"How did you fall prey to him then?"

"He's the best," Cristina closed her eyes momentarily.

"And that's why you slept with Burke as well?"

"No. It's different," Cristina led out a sigh. "Marlow was like a father figure to me. He taught me a lot of extra stuff. Always there to watch out for me. And he has a great sense of humor if you get it."

"Wow, you really were in love, Cristina! I hope Burke doesn't know. The sex plus the love? You'll give him a hemorrhage," Meredith grimaced.

"It wasn't love," Cristina muttered. "It's just that someone was paying attention to me, not only Cristina Yang the best student, but something more. For one thing, he seemed to understand my jokes and took them well."

"When a man wants to get into your pants, he will pretend to be anything," Alex smirked.

"No, Marlow wasn't pretending to be humorous. He can be super smart and focused at work, but other times he's very relaxed," Cristina made more dots on the ground with her toes.

"Why didn't it work then?" Meredith tilted her head with curiosity.

"The first couple of times I slept with him, it was just sex. It was fun, actually," Cristina blinked.

"Yang, we don't want the details about your sexual history," Alex rolled his eyes.

Cristina glared at him, "You think I'm interested in sharing huh?"

"What happened next, Cristina?" Meredith brought them back on track.

"Then I had that, well, feeling. You know it's bad when you have that feeling. I told you I was young and stupid," Cristina laid her hand on her forehead.

5  
"You weren't pregnant, were you?" Alex furrowed his brows.

"Oh, no no no. Not THAT kind of feeling," Cristina began pacing in the basement. "I started to think about him, even when we were not having sex, or class."

"And that's a bad thing because?"

"Because we were not really a couple, and I didn't have much experience in that sort of thing," Cristina blushed.

"Oh yes, I remember watching you trying out a gazillion different dresses before you went on a date with Burke," Alex laughed.

Cristina shot Alex another hostile stare.

"So, did you two date at all?" Meredith was more curious about the 'love' than the 'sex'.

"Honestly, you know what, I don't think that ever happened," Cristina licked her lips.

"You slept with the man, not because you wanted to get ahead. You two never dated, but you had a thing for him. That sounds complicated." Alex nodded to himself.

"Did he know?" Meredith asked.

"About what?" Cristina was sitting on the gurney again.

"That you had feelings for him."

Cristina laced her fingers across her chin and replied, "Not when he was so busy with his secretary and his ex-wife."

"You can't be serious, Cristina!" Meredith was horrified.

"That's why I told you to stop sleeping with a married man when you found out about Addison," Cristina said calmly.

"Wow. Did you ever get tested?" Alex gave her a nasty evil look until Cristina twitched his arm.

"Anyway. I just stopped seeing him altogether," Cristina added.

"But he asked you to marry him?" Meredith remembered their earlier conversation before Alex came.

"He said he really wanted me. Realized how different I was from other chicks, how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. But why should I trust him?" Cristina looked to the ground. "Besides, I was only 25. Who in the world would want to get married?"

"Well, you don't seem to like the idea of marriage even now when you're almost 29," Meredith said.

"Exactly!"

6  
"But you do want to marry Burke, don't you?"

Cristina pondered on it for a moment and nodded.

"That's why you need to do something before he calls it off and storms out," Alex said.

"Do you really think Burke will be mad for a long time because of me and Marlow?" Cristina asked in a timid voice that was so unlike her confident self.

"Unless you explain it to him now," Alex responded calmly.

"How? I don't want him to be jealous and all that. Burke gets jealous so easily," Cristina was now lying on the gurney, her hands behind her head.

"It'd be worse if he found these out from someone else," Meredith was concerned. "Just tell him what you told us."

"Burke would get angry and interrupt before I get a chance to tell him the whole story," Cristina fixated her gaze on the water pipes in the ceiling.

"You can't sit here and do nothing," Alex paused, then gave her another piece of advice, "Men's ego is hard to fix, especially when they feel insecure. It's bad to have a rival, but it's worse if Burke doesn't know who he's competing with. It wouldn't hurt to let him know. Warn him. Prepare him."

"Whatever," Cristina sighed again as she saw Bailey's familiar figure approaching them.

"This is not a kindergarten. You can't hide here all day. Time to work, people. Now, move!"

"Yes, ma'am."

Bailey shot a glance at Cristina as she shoved her interns off the basement.

"Yang, Dr. Marlow has requested that you assist in his surgery this morning. Dr. Burke wants you for a CABG in the afternoon. And the Chief wants to see you now."

"I see," Cristina wished she could find a cave to hide.

Bailey smirked, recalling what happened earlier at the nurse station when the new surgeon took advantage of Cristina. "Have fun entertaining the Chief and Chief-to-be."

"Right."

"Just remember, men are stupid and I'm never wrong." The Nazi's voice echoed in the basement and gave Cristina goose bumps.

7  
"I heard about that guy," Derek Sheppard showed pity in his eyes as he brushed across Burke in the hallway.

"Yeah, he's pretty influential in the field," Burke made a cordial nod. "Didn't shock me that Cristina was with him in the past. You know, man in power."

"Preston, you aren't thinking that's why she dated you, right?" Derek could sense the hard feelings in Burke's slightly trembling voice.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" Burke wiped his glasses.

"That guy seems like a flirt, but if I were you, I'd rather trust my fiancée than a complete stranger."

"Apparently. Was I ever in doubt?" As confident as he tried to sound, Burke was asking the same question in his head as he walked down the stairs and ran into Cristina.

He wanted to grab her aside and talk to her, but the puzzled look on her face deterred him.

"Burke." To his surprise, Cristina initiated to talk, or at least appeared to be.

Staring into each others' eyes, Burke nervously responded, "Yes?"

"Well, I thought, I know, I, uh, owe you an explanation," Cristina tapped her fingers on the hem of her pocket.

"Ok."

The calmness in Burke's voice bothered Cristina. She couldn't tell if he was mad or not. Rather than talking, Cristina leaned closer and whispered into his ear, "You look hot when you're jealous, but it wasn't what you thought."

Burke held her hand and wanted to take her to a private place to talk, but instead Cristina gave him a peck on the cheek and said, "The Chief is looking for me. We'll talk later. I promise."

His cheeks still warm from anxiety, Burke watched his woman fled the scene.

"Public display of affection? That's such a bold move," From the middle of nowhere, Marlow popped up and sounded very amused as Burke nearly jumped. "Cristina has really grown up a lot!"

"What do you want, Dr. Marlow?" Burke couldn't hide his irritation.

8  
"You really want to know?" Marlow squint his eyes in a contemptuous manner. "I want an answer, Dr. Burke. Maybe you can help."

"Why should I?" Burke retorted.

"Because you're marrying a woman who once told me marriage isn't her cup of tea. Tell me, what have you promised her?" Marlow's words were inflammatory.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, c'mon. Three years ago I proposed to my precious pet and she left. What exactly is your trick?"

Burke's mouth opened but no words came out. He couldn't believe someone else had actually proposed to Cristina before.

"I know you're younger. Ok, maybe slightly taller. But really, I guaranteed her the best residency deal upon graduation and she still turned me down. You didn't prommise her the entire hospital, did you?"

Burke could feel the fury permeating every piece of his own muscle.

_Why did this man have to make Cristina sound like someone who's only after his power? Was that really what's going on? Was that why Cristina never told him she loved him?_

"I don't owe you an answer," Burke finally let the words slipped through his teeth.

"I'm curious. That's all. You know, we're all dedicated scientists and we all love to ask questions and look for answers," Marlow joked.

"Professor, I think you're looking at the wrong place," Burke couldn't not bear to talk to the man any longer.

"We shall see. I've asked Cristina to scrub in with me in an hour. I'm sure we'll get to know each other very well again," Marlow displayed a smile of victory.

"She won't buy into that. Cristina is very smart," Burke held his breath and said calmly.

"She's always looked up to me. She respects me. She didn't resist when I hugged her this morning. Don't you think there are reasons for you to be worried about your fiancée?" Marlow challenged Burke.

"I think anyone who shows you any respect at all is only having a momentary lapse of good judgment," Burke avoided Marlow's giddy face and left.

9  
"Cristina, I'm aware of what happened at the nurse station," Richard Webber touched his forehead with his fingertips.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Dr. Marlow, I gathered, was being a little…rough with you," Webber was shy as he finished his line. "If you think it warrants a disciplinary action or if there's anything about his moral character that you believe the selection committee should be made aware of, you may do so anonymously."

Cristina couldn't stop a curt laugh from erupting. She didn't realize the Chief was that concerned about the interns' well-being, so to speak. "Definitely, Sir."

"So, is it true that Dr. Marlow and you were intimate before?" Webber clasped his hands and carefully examined Cristina's face.

"Is there a reason why I must talk about that now?" Cristina began fiddling her earring.

"No, of course not. I just want to make sure his presence won't bring harm to Seattle Grace," Webber looked worried.

"Chief, there's nothing to worry about," Cristina looked to her side.

"Good," Webber stood up to walk Cristina to the door. "You know I deliberately brought Addison here. But Dr. Marlow? I swear I would not have invited him had I known that you two were—"

"Chief, it's gonna be fine," Cristina cut him off with determination.

"Have you talked to Preston about that?" Webber's concern wasn't eased off by Cristina's words.

"We haven't got a chance yet," Cristina paused, "but we will. Soon."

"You know you've changed the man, for the better. You two have grown so much since you're together. It'd be a shame if anything shatters that," Webber said in a fatherly way.

"Marlow and I, that's in the past. It won't affect what I'm doing now, with Burke," Cristina tried to convince both herself and the Chief.

"Just let me know if Marlow bothers you. I'm still the Chief and I know the right thing to do when necessary," Webber stroked his beard.

"Thank you, Sir."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

10

"Dr. Yang, would like to hold the saw?" Marlow said playfully.

"Not really, Dr. Marlow," Cristina rolled her eyes.

Saying yes to Marlow now would be a blasphemy to the sacred moment she held the saw for the first time 8 months ago—the first time Burke was so close to her in a surgery he could almost inhale her spirit.

"I thought that's an exciting assignment for an intern," Marlow feigned disappointment.

"Here at Seattle Grace, interns do things that are much more sophisticated than holding a saw," Bailey cleared her throat. "Dr. Yang, for example, has performed running whipstitch on patients' hearts a few times."

"Oh well, the benefits of having a cardio surgeon boyfriend huh?" Marlow squint at Cristina.

Cristina's body was shaking. She had to constantly remind herself there was a patient in the room.

"Dr. Marlow, you are aware that this is an OR, not a sports bar. If you don't want anyone to get physical, I'd recommend you keep your mouth shut and concentrate," Bailey's authority knew no boundaries.

"Wow, I like your serious attitude. I'll keep that in mind when I become Chief," Marlow's eyes glowed in arrogance.

"Of which hospital would that be? I'm sure we can exchange contacts when I become Chief of Seattle Grace," Bailey smirked, recalling what Webber's trust in her potential to be Chief some day.

Standing between two strong-willed, sharp-tongued individuals, Cristina felt completely out of place as she handed them the scalpels.

"Dr. Yang?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"I want the10-blade, not the scissors," Marlow furrowed his eyebrows.

"Dr. Yang, I don't think you're ready to save lives now," Bailey said.

"She's only getting a little too excited because she hasn't seen her favorite person for so long. Right, Cristina?" Marlow attempted to blow a kiss on Cristina's cheek through his mask before she dropped the scissors on his leg, unintentionally.

"Ouch," Marlow's face twitched as he took a few steps backward away from the patient.

"That's enough, Yang, now get out and prepare for your next surgery. I'll take care of this before anyone dies," Bailey shook her head and pushed Marlow aside.

"Yes,Ma'am."

Cristina was literally racing out of the room. Before she got a chance to steady herself and clear her mind, she fell into somebody's embrace.

11  
It would have made Cristina feel better if he said anything at all. Instead, Burke just held her by her arms and quietly walked her to an empty hallway.

"Burke," Finally, Cristina spoke.

"You never told me about Colin Marlow," Burke's tone was flat.

"I was going to talk about it tonight," Cristina answered.

"But you never mentioned him before today," Burke's eyes demanded an answer.

"Why? Do you want to know about every man I slept with?" Cristina tried to make light of the situation.

Immediately, Cristina reckoned it wasn't a very smart reply. Burke swallowed hard before asking another question, "How many men have you slept with to get ahead?"

At this point, they had already walked towards their on-call room. Cristina dragged Burke into it and locked the door, not sure if she wanted to answer the question.

Her hands behind her back, still holding onto the doorknob, Cristina looked up at Burke and said, "Do you really believe I was sleeping my way up?"

"I don't know what you're capable of, being the sort of kiss-ass you are," Burke was unrelenting.

"I didn't," Cristina said weakly. "And I didn't know that's the way how you see me all along."

"The evidence is against you," Burke narrowed his eyes.

"Fine. There's nothing more to say if that's what you want to believe in." Cristina could have cleared things up at this point, but it baffled her that Burke was having so little trust in her.

_Burke was such a liar. If there's nothing he didn't want to know about her, why did he have to look at her as if she was nothing more than a power-loving whore?_

"You can explain it to me now," Sensing Cristina's frustration, Burke softened up a little.

"Burke, it's not about my explanation. It's about you not trusting me," Cristina bit her lips anxiously. "You don't trust us. You're the one who told me you love me, but you're always the one to bow out of it first. Even with the smallest thing, you threaten to walk away."

12  
Shaken by the validity of Cristina's words, Burke shifted uncomfortably. "Cristina—"

"I slept with Marlow because he showed me the kind of interest no other man had thrown on me," Cristina turned to face Burke again.

Burke wiggled his brows, making an effort to understand without getting upset.

"He seems a little vulgar, but he has his charm," Cristina continued. "When everyone's been praising you for how smart you are at school, it feels good to be flattered in a different way."

"That's how they got into your pants?"

"There weren't that many of them," Cristina frowned. "Most of them I don't remember afterwards. And you know, none of them was as famous and powerful and influential as Marlow. None."

"Right," Burke muttered.

"I would have stayed in Palo Alto if I were really using him as a stepping stone," Cristina added.

"So it wasn't about getting your way up?" Burke was still hesitant.

"It wasn't," Cristina put her hands in her pockets, her eyes lowered. "It's awkward to sleep with your professor when you're in medical school—especially when you aren't doing it for the grades."

Burke inhaled the cool air deeply and asked, "How long did it last?"

"Six months maybe? Longer than I expected," Cristina smiled as she shook her head.

"You were serious about him," Burke said plainly.

"Maybe," As much as she didn't like to admit it, Burke was right.

"Well, if you really had feelings for him, why did you turn him down when he asked you to marry him?" Burke said.

To that, Cristina was silent for a long while.

"Can you really imagine me marrying him?" Cristina rolled her eyes. "Marlow?"

"If you're in love with a man—"

"It wasn't love. It wasn't reciprocal. It didn't take me too long to figure out I was only one of many," Cristina stayed close to the door, ready to go any minute.

"I'm sorry, Cristina," Burke motioned forward to touch her face.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Cristina scratched her head and looked sideway.

13  
Marlow was a touchy topic. The engaged couple each knew that once they left the room, they would have to face it head-on. The uneasy feeling was floating between Cristina and Burke.

If a kiss could resolve it, Burke would have done so, if a hug could help, he would do that too. But the perplexity on Cristina's face confused him.

_Was Cristina about her past, the present, or the future?_

In the end, work saved them, at least for now. "I need to prepare for the procedure. I'll see you in the OR, Cristina."

"Ok," Cristina sat down on the bunk bed as the door shut.

Pondering on her past for a moment, Cristina felt the need for a coffee.

"The machine is broken," The grin on the woman's face didn't match the bad news she just broke to Cristina.

"Oh, there's another one on the third floor," Cristina said to the attractive woman who was nonetheless a little clumsy.

"Thank you," The woman stuck out her tongue, "It's so hard to alive without a good cup of coffee in hand!"

Cristina thought she might like the woman, "Are you new here?"

"Sort of," The woman smiled again.

As the woman wasn't in a lab-coat, Cristina couldn't tell if she's a regular staff or something more. "Which department?"

"Oh no, I don't work here, but I'm new to Seattle. Just started at Mercy West," Holding her hand out to shake Cristina's, the woman added, "Delia Hall. Dietitian. Let me guess, you're a doctor?"

"I'm an intern," Cristina corrected Delia. "Cristina Yang."

"Oh hey, Cristina," Delia's eyes glistened in amusement. "So, you're the famous Cristina Yang!"

"Excuse me?" Cristina couldn't figure out why Delia knew her.

"See, I've never seen any picture of you. He didn't let me. But I KNEW you're an attractive woman!" Delia licked her lips excitedly and gave a soft pat on Cristina's shoulder.

_Was she a friend or a foe?_ Cristina didn't want more bad surprises for the day.

14  
"He's married?" Cristina's eyes widened as she and Delia approached the cafeteria.

"Happily married," Delia was beaming in joy, much unlike most married women Cristina had seen. "He told me he'd mess with you a bit, but I know him well and I have ways to torture him if he ever cheats on me."

"He came here because you got a job at Mercy West?" Cristina was still recuperating from the news.

"I will twist his ears till he cries if he doesn't!" Delia smirked.

"How much do you know about me?" Cristina asked carefully.

"Everything," Delia pointed at Cristina's coffee, "from your caffeine dependence to your grades."

Cristina feigned a smile.

"The only thing he said that I think isn't true, is how he decided to dump you because you aren't hot enough. I mean, who's he trying to fool?" Delia blinked.

"He said he dumped me?" Cristina couldn't help but laughed briefly.

"Exactly! You must have hurt him really bad, honey."

"I didn't realize I had that kind of impact on a man," Cristina said politely.

"C'mon, Cristina. Pretty women like us can break many hearts," Delia said confidently.

On another day, Cristina would have resented Delia's patronizing tone. But today, nobody could tell Delia how glad Cristina was to hear that Marlow was married.

"How long have you been together?" Cristina supported her head with one hand.

"I met him not long after you left. That's what he told me," Delia said with pride. "And there's been no one else since then."

"You must be a very special woman," Cristina couldn't believe Colin Marlow would ever settle down for one woman.

"He should be glad that I didn't walk out on him. He isn't young anymore, you know?" Delia smiled. "I mean, he still loves to flirt, a lot. The other day he was flirting with my 70-year-old aunt. Can you believe that?"

"Part of him will never change!" Cristina stirred her coffee.

"I've told him to stop being a nasty old man," Delia reassured Cristina. "I'll slap him for you if he does anything too inappropriate, Ok?"

"Love, how embarrassing it is to talk about slapping your husband in front of his ex-girlfriend?" Marlow slipped his hand on Delia's back and spoke into her ear.

"I better go," Cristina quickly excused herself.

"Stay, Cristina," Marlow laughed. "I need to know what secrets two of my favorite women have exchanged during my absence."

15  
Cristina couldn't remember how the conversation ended, but before long, she was having lunch with her fellow interns.

Digging into her salad half-heartedly, she exploded, "What's he trying to do to me?"

"It's a revenge," Izzie took a sip of her diet coke. "Unrequited love breeds hatred."

"Marlow didn't love me," Cristina protested as she waved her hands in the air.

"Remember he likes to flirt, Cristina?" Meredith reminded her friend. "Maybe he misses the fun of teasing you."

"He's got a wife, why can't he just behave?" Cristina threw a cheery tomato into her mouth.

"Well, he's married and can't possibly DO anything to you. Shouldn't you just sit back, relax, and watch the race?" Alex said.

"Yeah, Cristina. Why are you still upset? I know his wife is gorgeous and everything… Oh My God, and did you see her pearl earrings?" Izzie was talking so fast she nearly choked. "Anyway, don't feel bad about yourself. You still have Burke. He's also a great cardio surgeon and you two are getting married! No need to be jealous."

George saw the anger in Cristina's eyes and muttered to himself, "I don't think she's jealous."

"Izzie Stevens, I can't believe you're comparing Burke with Marlow," Cristina's face was flooded with disgust.

"Guys, it's lunch time. Can we talk about something that doesn't involve yelling at one another?" Meredith sounded like a pre-school teacher.

"Maybe it's time to think of ways to drive Marlow away," Cristina said grimly.

"He's famous. He can bring money to the hospital. And he's fond of you, Cristina. Why do you want him to leave so desperately?" Izzie opened her big mouth again without anyone's consent.

"It's about Burke, right?" George stuttered.

"Someone's worried her fiancé won't become Chief," Alex smirked.

"Stop it before I hurt you," Cristina glared at him. "Can't you see I'm in enough trouble already? If Burke hears what you said I'm sure he'll kick me out again."

Just then, Burke approached the gang and said calmly to Cristina, "You don't need to scrub in this afternoon."

"What?" Everyone turned their attention to Cristina.

_Was Burke punishing her by withholding surgery again?_


	3. Chapter 3

16  
"Burke, is this—"

"No. The patient died. There's no need to operate," Burke cut Cristina off.

Everyone else at the table turned their heads away while keeping their ears open.

"Oh, Ok." Cristina replied charily.  
"But I'm sure you can always ask Dr. Marlowe if you want to get into some cool surgeries," Burke chided.

The embarrassment on Cristina's face made Izzie chuckle. Thank God George stopped her with his hand.

Standing up abruptly, Cristina steered Burke away from her friends and said quietly, "Can we not bring this up in front of my friends?"

"Is there anything you should be ashamed of?" Burke asked.

"I'm not going to talk to you if you keep pushing," Cristina's hand sprang up to rub her neck.

"You hardly talk to me about things even when I don't push you," Burke said.

Pushing him aside to a quieter corner of the cafeteria, Cristina said wearily, "I'm tired, Burke. I've tried. What do I have to do to convince you that it's nothing?"

"First of all, maybe you can learn to line up your stories and make sure they're coherent."

"What do you mean?" Cristina tightened her brows.

Burke gave her a piercing glance and said, "Stop lying to me, Cristina. You told me you're with Marlowe for 6 months. He just told me you two spent 3 years together."

Cristina shivered.

"Don't tell me one of you doesn't know how to do the math," Burke continued.

If it was at all possible, Cristina would prefer to stay quiet, as what she would normally do. She hated to explain things when she felt she was right.

"Burke," Cristina uttered his name but immediately stopped.

"We're getting married and you can't even open up to me now," Burke looked hurt.

"I slept with him for 3 years, but I only had feelings for him for 6 months," Cristina tried.

"I don't know what or who to believe in anymore, Cristina," Burke scratched her brow. "You spent 3 of your most promising years with a man who's more than twice your age and then walked out on him, but you said yes to my marriage proposal only after 9 months."

"That's because you're different. We're different. This is a relationship!" Cristina raised her voice.

17  
"And what do you know about relationships, Cristina?" Burke stared at her. "You left him when you graduated. You're marrying me because your residency has just begun."

"That's not true," Cristina bit her lips.

"So what does that mean? Are you going to give me divorce papers in 6 years when you're done?" Burke continued.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cristina avoided his gaze.

"You love authority. Once a person has no direct benefit to your career anymore, you walk away."

"That isn't why I'm with you," Cristina mumbled.

"If my hand wasn't fixed, you wouldn't have stayed," Burke recalled the recent turmoil and pain shot up to his heart as he spoke.

Cristina was shocked. _How could he say so when she told him she was in for the long haul?_

"Let's face it, you're in love with the surgeon, not the man."

The calmness in Burke's tone unnerved Cristina more than his fury.

"With Marlowe, I was neither in love with the surgeon nor the man. I was with him for 3 years and it never made me proud. Falling in love with you does," Cristina replied.

"So it's about pride? You really do collect us one after another like trophies," Burke let out a cold laugh.

"That isn't what I mean," Cristina couldn't believe it was so hard for Burke to understand.

"I am proud of myself. For the first time in life I'm doing things for someone because I love him," Cristina said.

Burke didn't appear moved by any of it.

"Fine. I won't deny I admire authority figures and I like the education I got from you. But it isn't just medicine I'm talking about," Cristina blurted out. "Because of you, I went to the grocery store to look for those freaking chickens; I took up the habit of jogging whenever you're upset with me or when I'm upset with myself; I learned to clean and vacuum when you're injured; I learned to hold my tongue and be nice even when your mother was mean. And guess what? I cried. Several times. No other men, except my dad, has ever made me cry."

18  
"Cristina—" Burke trembled a little. No matter how hurt he felt, it made him feel bad when Cristina seemed equally hurt.

"No, let me finish," Cristina stopped him.

Burke was stunned by Cristina's determination.

"You always think you're right and I let you," Cristina inhaled deeply. "Maybe you're right when you said I'm placating you. But don't you see why I have to do that?"

Burke shut his eyes for a moment.

"Marlowe spilled the truth. I really don't believe signing a piece of paper makes two people more committed than how they already are. You know I don't want a fancy wedding or a fluffy white dress. But I have to say yes. I have to." Cristina said plainly.

"You don't," Burke answered.

"Why, so that you can threaten to dump me again?"

"I never said that," Burke defended himself.

"Have you forgotten that you broke up with me the first time because you thought it would affect your prospect of becoming Chief some day?" Cristina reminded him.

"I didn't know it was more than just a fling to you back then," Burke said.

Cristina's eyes grew bigger. "Would that make a difference? Even now, after all these months together, you're threatening to put off the engagement."

"I'm just unsure if it's a good time now," Burke said matter-of-factly.

"It doesn't change the fact that you are the one who actually made an attempt to ditch me, yet you're accusing me of being uncommitted," Cristina responded.

"You didn't open up to me, how would I know?" Burke asked.

"Can't you accept that not everyone in this world is ready to say I love you as often as you do?"

"It's not only the 'I love you's I'm talking about," Burke talked back.

"You never told me about everyone you slept with either, and it didn't bother me," Cristina pushed a strand of her curls to the back of her head.

"Marlowe is someone we both talk about from time to time," Burke replied.

"It wouldn't bother me even if I find out you used to date someone we both know," Cristina clarified, "Not because I don't care about your past, but because I trust you."

19  
"If you trust me, why didn't you just tell me about him in the past when I brought him up?" Burke demanded an answer even if it's something he might not want to admit. "Don't I deserve to know?"

Cristina shifted uncomfortably before she spoke, "I trust you, but I also know you'd think that I dated you for all the wrong reasons once you heard about Marlowe."

Burke swallowed his words as he came to the realization that Cristina was right about it.

"Burke, I've been with you long enough to know that you will start comparing yourself with him," Cristina smiled sadly, "And your behavior today only reinforces me how accurate my instinct has been."

"Marlowe is only one of many things you never mentioned to me about," Burke said coolly.

Cristina thought hard before saying, "Perhaps I'm a private person who doesn't like to talk about things? Can't you just accept that?"

"Will that ever change?" Burke asked with some reservation.

"Is this another loop I must jump through to stay with you?" Cristina was alarmed by the lack of confidence that remained on Burke's face.

"Cristina, I can't read your mind. It's difficult when you don't talk to me," Burke adjusted his glasses as he spoke. "Am I asking too much from you?"

Cristina was quiet. Their conversation had come to a standstill again.

"You realize I don't have to put up with all these if I'm only trying to get ahead," Cristina spoke softly.

Burke kept staring at her, hoping she would continue to talk.

"I left Marlowe without looking back because I didn't care if I'd lose him, but I can't say no to anything you ask of me, because you're the one I can't bear to lose," Cristina looked earnestly at Burke for a long while. "And believe it or not, it's not about power or prestige."

As Cristina quietly removed herself from his sight, Burke clenched his jaw, wondering if he had been too harsh on his fiancée.

20  
"Honey, are you alright?" Delia was waiting for her husband as she spotted Cristina.

Cristina forced a cordial smile, "Yeah."

"I heard from your intern friends that you're engaged?" Delia said cheerfully, not aware of what just happened between Cristina and Burke. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Cristina said flatly.

Delia bit her nails, "I know how you feel. It took me a while to stop feeling scared after my engagement."

"We're fine," Cristina was a little edgy.

"Good, then ask that sweet little fiancé of yours to join us for dinner tonight," Marlowe appeared from the middle of nowhere and laid one hand on Cristina's shoulder and another on Delia's.

Had his wife not been there, Cristina would have lashed out at Marlowe for having the decency to be nice to her at all, "We've other plans."

"Be a hospitable host, Cristina! We're new to this city!" Marlowe blinked.

"I'd love to meet your fiancé, Cristina. Does he work here too?" Delia asked.

Cristina's face darkened.

"Babe, you haven't met Dr. Burke yet? He's such a nice fellow. Right, Cristina?" Marlowe teased her.

"I don't think he's free," Cristina couldn't imagine how Burke would say yes to the invitation when he's all wrapped up about her past.

Marlowe caught her frustration, "What's the problem, my pet?"

"You! And stop calling me your pet in front of your wife and everyone else," Cristina finally lost her cool.

"Darling, what have you done?" Delia poked at Marlowe's chest. "I told you to do what you please, but I didn't say that you could go and harass innocent people!"

"Love, I didn't!"

"What did you do?" Delia insisted.

Marlow cleared his throat, "Nothing. I was only volunteering some information to Dr. Burke."

"Some information? And you call that nothing?" Delia rolled her eyes. "Remember you almost cancelled our wedding when my sister told you about me and my ex!"

"Well—"

"It isn't a revenge, is it?"

"No," Marlowe looked innocent, "Why would I?"

"Good. I'd be more upset to know that you're trying to get back at the woman who left you than to know that you slept with her," Delia's breath thickened.

"I only have you in my heart now," Marlowe kissed his wife.

"Then make me happy. Go fix what you break," Delia demanded.

"Me?" Marlowe scratched his chin.  



	4. Chapter 4

21  
"Hey Preston, don't make an old man run after you!" Marlowe tried to catch Burke down the hallway.

"Since when are we on first name basis?"

"Young man, we need to talk," Marlowe pleaded.

"There's nothing WE should talk about," Burke chided.

"You know I'm married?" Marlowe asked matter-of-factly.

"I don't have to know," Burke didn't appear interested, even though the words were sinking in.

"No wonder Cristina fell for you," Marlowe broke into a nervous laugh. "You're just as stubborn as she is."

To that Burke's ears twitched. "Excuse me?"

"Let me repeat this. I'm married. You have to know it, because it means I'm not trying to win Cristina back. I was only messing with her. One day when you're 60, you'll understand the desire to compete with a younger man for the affection of a woman you couldn't get," Marlowe reminisced the past.

"Not if I'm married to someone I love," Disbelief was written across Burke's face. "I'm sorry for your wife."

"Godd!" Marlowe smiled sheepishly. "I mean, that's why you need to help me."

"What?"

"We're sort of in a fight—"

"You came here to wreck my relationship, why should I care if you wreck your own?" Burke scorned.

"No, my wife wants you and Cristina to make up," Marlowe said.

Burke frowned, feeling betrayed that their problems were brought to the attention of no other people than Marlowe and his wife.

"Is that a problem?" Marlowe was confused.

"Cristina opened up and told you about our problems right away," Burke began talking to himself, ignoring Marlowe.

Amused by the younger surgeon's sensitivity, Marlowe exclaimed, "Stop being sensitive like a woman! Cristina didn't tell me. Anyone who saw her could tell something's wrong."

Burke remained silent.

Marlowe squint his eyes and wondered, "I'm sure it boosts your ego when you realize you've such power over her. I wish I knew how to upset her as much as you did."

"You're sick," Burke uttered. "Why would I want to upset someone I love?"

"Exactly! Why would you, huh?" Marlowe nodded slowly, encouraging Burke to respond.

"It wasn't my intention," Burke lowered his head.

"She's just a girl. She has feelings too," For the first time, Marlowe showed his protective, almost fatherly side as he talked about his favorite student. "Talk to her."

22  
"Cristina, wake up," Meredith gave her best friend a nudge.

"Mmmm… You snored. Now let me sleep," In her half-conscious mind, Cristina was wondering why she was with Meredith.

Rubbing her eyes as she went to hug her boyfriend, Meredith said, "She doesn't want to wake up."

"Cristina, Burke is coming to pick you up," Derek was hoping he could take over the bed again soon.

The alert was more effective than coffee. Without delay, Cristina opened her eyes in bewilderment. "What?"

"I called him," Derek responded matter-of-factly.

Cristina sprang up and looked around.

"He isn't here yet," Derek added.

"I'm leaving," Cristina told Meredith in a hasty voice.

Cristina was Meredith's friend, but so was Burke to Derek. Being the first to know about the engagement, Derek felt obliged to smooth the kinks. Besides, another night of sleeping on the couch, listening to Meredith's roommates engaging in hypersexual behavior wasn't that exciting. "Preston's worried about you."

The desire to flee the scene was building up as Cristina blurted out, "I'll see him at the hospital."

"Why are you always running away from him?" Derek inquired.

Shifting her focus from Derek to Meredith, Cristina's eyes were clouded with the fog of confusion, "I don't know."

"Wait, Cristina. Remember you were so excited to find out I wasn't dead?" Meredith walked over to her friend.

"Of course. You're my person."

Meredith bit her nails and continued, "Well, it wasn't just that. You're glad I wasn't dead because you couldn't wait to tell me Burke proposed; and what does that mean?"

"What does it mean?" Cristina repeated the question.

"That you're thrilled! It means you want Burke; you want the engagement or marriage or whatever. Right, Cristina?"

Cristina's lips parted but again she wasn't sure about the answer.

"If this is a surgery, your patient would have died many times by the time you make up your mind," Meredith kept talking in a way so unique that Derek couldn't quite comprehend.

Cristina exclaimed with a stubborn frown, "Didn't I already make up my mind? I've been sticking! You know that, Mer. I've done almost everything I could. I've said yes! Why can't he see that?"

Just then, Burke was leaning by the door with his arms crossed.

23  
"Let's go home," Burke took Cristina's jacket off the hook and held it open for her.

Looking at him with some doubt, Cristina eventually accepted his invitation by slipping into her leather jacket. Quickly running her fingers through her curls, Cristina pulled up her collar.

Without saying another word to her, Burke held her hand in his and said to Derek, "Thank you."

Derek lifted the corner of his mouth and his eyes shimmered as he watched Cristina and Burke slowly went out of sight.

"They're gonna make it, right?" Meredith asked quietly as Derek gave her a kiss on the forehead.

The short ride back to Burke's apartment was spent in silence. Cristina couldn't tell how he was feeling and how much he heard at Meredith's place.

When they finally got to the doorsteps of the building, Burke held the glass door, not only for Cristina, but also a blind lady who was slowly arriving from the corner of the street.

Those little things. They were so ingrained in Burke's behavior repertoire and so familiar to Cristina that she was suddenly overcome with a rush of appreciation and joy. Preston Burke was a good man.

_If only she could describe this to Burke; if only he could believe he's the only one who made Cristina felt that way._

"Would you like some coffee?" Burke asked politely as they entered the apartment.

Stunned by the mild aloofness in his voice, Cristina nodded. Still worrying Burke would soon go into a tirade or challenge her with another round of questions, Cristina swiftly walked into the bathroom and locked the door.

Looking into the mirror, Cristina splashed some water on her face. The reflection in the mirror was a woman whose confidence in the decision she made was plummeting; it wasn't someone Cristina would want to look up to, either as a surgeon or a woman.

Burke should have gone back to the hospital to prepare for the interview for Chief. Instead, he waited patiently as the sound of running water continued in the bathroom. When Cristina finally stepped out, her hair soaking wet, Burke told her, "Breakfast's ready. I've to go."

Cristina said in a timid voice, "It's today, the interview is today, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ok," That's the most she could do as the supportive girlfriend, Cristina thought as she toyed with her pancake alone.

24  
"What are you going to do now?" Meredith touched Cristina with her elbow as they hid in the basement again.

"You should worry about Barbie and Bambi before you worry about me," Cristina snapped. "Seriously, something is very wrong when the on-call room is locked twice. Twice already today!"

"It wasn't that wrong when you and Burke were in it," Meredith smirked.

Cristina let out another sigh. "Why can't life be less complicated?"

"Because you can't sleep in the on-call room forever," Meredith blushed slightly. "Besides, Derek and I are living together now."

"You make it sound like you've never lived with a boyfriend before," Cristina said evenly.

"You make it sound like Burke isn't the first one you move in with," Meredith teased her friend.

"In general, I don't believe in living together," Cristina cut her off.

Patting the back of Cristina's hand, Meredith said thoughtfully, "But you moved in with Burke."

"So?"

"So your 'be kind, rewind' plan is not going to work. Burke is the guy who asked you to move in with him, who wants to marry you, who's looking ahead!"

"But I screwed up. Marlowe popped up and now Burke thinks I'm placating him," Cristina pouted.

"Isn't that true? I mean, the more important question is why did you placate him? Is it for your career or something else?" Meredith's near-death experience had suddenly turned her into a much more systematic thinker.

"I don't know," Cristina slowly spilled out her answer.

Meredith tightened her brows a bit and shook her head, "Men like Burke can't handle ambiguity very well."

"Don't you think I know that? He wants me to open up, right? So I talked like a maniac yesterday. God, I tried so hard to explain myself but he just wouldn't listen."

"Derek is no better. He keeps asking if I'm Ok," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And today he's been bugging me all day about Sloan's evil plan to use me."

"What's wrong with these men? They're more insecure than women," Cristina threw her hands up to the back of her head.

"Do you think it has to do with the interview?" Meredith asked.

As the two friends parted and moved on with their patients, Cristina caught herself constantly looking at her watch impatiently, so much so that it frightened the diabetic guy even more when he learned that his leg had to be amputated.

25  
"Good afternoon, everyone. I—" Burke stopped as he saw Derek entering the empty conference room.

"You're using PowerPoint," Derek was mildly amused.

"I like to look professional," Burke narrowed his eyes and put on a confident smile.

Leaning against the wall snugly, Derek smiled back, "I hope one of us can beat Colin Marlowe and his tweaks."

Merely hearing that name made Burke shrug nervously before he said, "Definitely."

"Have you talked to Cristina?" Derek looked at Burke steadily and when the latter didn't reply, Derek continued, "I don't want to sleep on the couch again tonight."

"You're trying to distract me. Is that your tactic to win the game?" Burke rubbed his neck and squint his eyes.

Derek shot him a pathetic smile. "On the contrary. I'm trying to learn from you—How not to get distracted when Sloan is using Meredith."

Both men shook their heads and sighed. Having a girlfriend who was each other's _person_ had surely created something common in Burke's and Derek's life—trouble.

"Focus on your 10-year-plan, Derek. You've got to beat them," Burke wiped his glasses and said calmly.

"Preston, what's your 10-year-plan?" Derek inquired, not expecting Burke to actually answer it.

Burke raised his brows and touched his nose briefly before he said, "It's in my head, but I can't figure out the steps to reach that goal."

"I don't think that's what the board wants to hear," Derek responded.

"That's why I told you to beat them. I'll try my best, but that's the most I can do for now," Burke adjusted his tie.

Derek's shoulders stiffened when he heard what Burke said, "You mean you don't want to be Chief anymore? Richard picked you. You know you're going to be Chief."

"I want to be someone whom others can look up to, I want them to know that I'm becoming a better person each day," Burke put on his jacket. "But whether I become Chief is up to them."

When Burke was about to step out of the room, he looked back and asked randomly, "I have Cristina in my 10-year-plan. Am I thinking too far ahead?"

"No," The answer jumped out automatically as Derek thought about Meredith.

Anyone could see the flame burning bright in Burke's eyes, but it was a steady flame. For a moment, it made Derek want to quit the game, "Good luck."

"Thanks," Burke grabbed his presentation notes and left the room.

26  
As Cristina was rounding the corner, she caught a glimpse of Burke in his black suit.

She could feel her heart beating faster. _How would Burke look in a tux?_ Cristina couldn't believe that was the first thought that came to mind and she quickly shook it off by galloping towards him.

"The Chief chose you. You were supposed to be Chief," Her long and delicate fingers that were brushing across the bottom of Burke's jacket were almost unnoticeable, Cristina said in a stubborn voice.

Consumed by the look of determination on Cristina's face, Burke stared at her without speaking.

It's something very untypical of her but Cristina almost couldn't curb the impulse to adjust Burke's tie-- had her fingers traveled just a few inches up.

"I am a different man now. I don't want to go back to where I was," Burke's words came out so forcefully and effortlessly that they arrested Cristina's thought.

"Right," There was nothing more to say.

"Dr. Burke?" The board secretary greeted him with a sunny smile.

Cristina looked at Burke long and hard, wished him luck in silence even though she knew he didn't need that.

"Yang, enough of fiancé-gazing. This man here doesn't have a lot of time before you need to amputate another limp," Bailey caught her intern standing in a stupor near the conference room.

"Yes, Dr. Bailey," Cristina responded absent-mindedly.

"Those fools are making 10-year-plans for the hospital," Bailey spoke in the direction of the contenders for Chief. "They probably don't even know what they want 10 days from now."

Cristina frowned as they walked down the hallway, "10-year-plan?"

"The kind of thing you should worry about when you have a husband and a son like I do, not when you're running for Chief," Bailey smirked. "Do YOU have a plan?"

Cristina looked down at the chart and said, "Well, I'll have completed my residency and fellowship—"

"No, your plan to start a family," Bailey interrupted her.

"Oh," Cristina stuttered a little. "I, well, good question. I am, uh, busy, too busy, right now."

"I said it once and I'm gonna say it again. Preston Burke is a good man. He'll make a good husband and a good father," Bailey said. "And, he won't let you off the hook easy."

"Right," Cristina nodded.

"You need to look ahead. Make plans for yourself, for the two of you. When you don't have a plan of your own, how do you know if you really want it?"  
Cristina let the information sink in before posing a question that sounded dumb even to herself, "What if I already know?"

"Where's my feisty intern who always gets what she wants?" Bailey shook her head disapprovingly. "Let him know! Men, they are slow. If you don't tell them what you want, and tell them clearly and repeatedly, they will think that you don't mean it."

"So, Dr. Bailey, did you have a big wedding?" The question cropped up before Cristina completely digested what Bailey just said.

Scanned her intern from head to toe, Bailey pretended to be stern, "You're switching topics. Is that something I need to share with my intern?"

"Well, no," Cristina sounded discouraged.

Basking in pride, Bailey glanced at Cristina and said, "It was huge and fancy, exactly what I imagined since I was a little girl."

Surprise tainted Cristina's face as they scrubbed in.

"Now show me what you can do with this man's leg," Bailey commanded, "And if you tell another living soul about what I said, you're out of my 'right-now' plan indefinitely. Understand?"

Cristina blinked and whispered, "Yes."

27  
The place was unusually quiet for a Thursday evening, but it served the purpose as a good hideaway. Raising his towel from the tall glass he was drying, Joe the bartender greeted one of his favorite patrons, "What's up, Sunshine?"

"I need something warm and strong. It's freezing out there," Cristina shivered as she settled down on the stool.

"I thought that's why you doctors are not coming here lately. Because of the cold?" Joe smiled as he poured Cristina a glass of bourbon.

Shrugging lightly, Cristina laid her lazy eyes on the glass and said, "We're busy. You know, interns have crazy schedules."

"Especially when you're getting married at the same time," Alex pulled up a chair and sat next to Cristina.

Cristina was too tired to fight back. Her head was resting on the counter sideway, her fingers fiddling with her glass.

Joe was happy to see another familiar face. "Hey Alex, anything new with Jane Doe?"

The blush on Alex's face entered Cristina's eyes. "Seriously, tell me you won't become the he-Izzie."

"I think Alex is just trying to be a caring doctor to a woman who has no one to go home with. Right, my boy?" Joe said in a cheery voice.

Alex took a sip of his beer and smiled slyly.

"Speaking of home, have you and Dr. Burke started looking for a house yet? It's a good year. Mortgage has been fairly low," Joe said.

"Why? I'm comfortable with my current living situation," The confusion in Cristina's eyes was amusing to both men around her.

"Yang, you're getting married. Things are about to change," Alex raised his brows. "Didn't you think about these when you said yes?"

"Alex is right, Sunshine. There's gonna be a lot of planning involved," Joe added.

Wrapping her fingers around her glass nervously, Cristina mumbled, "I don't even want to think about the wedding."

"Having cold-feet again?" Alex smirked.

"What do you mean," Cristina's body jerked in defense. "Again?"

"It's that indecisiveness written across your face. Burke's a sensitive guy. If I were him I'd find that look very troubling."

Cristina's shoulders dropped. Everyone knew there wasn't much room left for Burke to be troubled before he bowed out of it, "I am ready. Very ready. In fact I'm going home now to tell him my plans."

All three of them were surprised. The words came out so naturally that even someone as skeptical as Alex was becoming convinced that Cristina was ready.

"You'll be a beautiful bride, Sunshine," Joe put on a dreamy face.

"Whatever," Cristina tied her hood and retreated to the cold Seattle night.

"Do you think her plan involves wearing her running shoes under the fluffy white dress?" Alex and Joe looked at each other and laughed.

28  
It wasn't a very smart idea to ride the motorcycle against the winter chill. But as Cristina repeated the phrase "I am ready" to herself for the ten thousandth time, the familiar apartment block finally came into sight.

In a matter of ninety seconds, Cristina had parked her motorcycle and ran up the stairs to her _home_. Catching her breath from her minor work-out and the chill, Cristina didn't allow any hesitation to overtake her.

If something had to be done, she'd better get it done quick and clean like Bailey's flawless intubation.

Pushing her way through the living room into their bedroom, Cristina swiftly kicked her jacket and boots off.

"Hey," Cristina was greeted with a mystical yet inviting stare from Burke. Ignoring how Burke typically disliked it when she jumped into bed without washing her hands or feet first, Cristina squeezed into her designated space on the mattress.

The urgency in Cristina's manner was in odd juxtaposition to the calmness in Burke, who slowly glanced up and put away his book. When her tiny icy feet began brushing on top of his, instead of jerking away, Burke's heart skipped a beat and soon he began to grin.

"It has to be small… City Hall…Meredith… no mosquito net…"

Words were spinning off Cristina's mouth. There's something eerie about her voice, as if she's a child begging to be taken to Disney. It's so unlike the Cristina he knew, although it didn't come as shocking as the first time she called him _honey_ in public. There's something very womanly about her speech, even though it's presented in the form of unceasing demands about the wedding.

"Cristina," Burke leaned forward and caressed her chin, trying to stop her from talking with a kiss.

"Wait, I haven't finished," Cristina was mildly startled before she went on and on.

None of that matter. The whole point was that Cristina Yang, of all women Burke knew, was initiating a conversation about the wedding!

As the arm that fell on Cristina's shoulders held a firmer grip, Burke found his eyes glued to the look of a stubborn child, who was snuggling against him, making him proud of his manhood. It was hard to explain how good it felt to be observing Cristina's lips danced along with that twinkle in her eyes.

When Cristina was finally done with her _proposal_ about the wedding, Burke nearly forgot that 24 hours ago they weren't talking to one another.  
"Ok, what do you think?" Cristina caught her breath and asked with a penetrating gaze.

"Alright," Without saying another word, Burke found his lips landing on Cristina's neck while their legs intertwined.

Of course, nobody should forget that Cristina wasn't easy, for although she allowed their feet to remain intimate, immediately Cristina held her hand over Burke's face and said, "That's it? You only think it's alright?"

Removing her hand from his lips and covering it with another soul-captivating kiss, Burke rested Cristina's head on his chest and explained, "I'd love to see my bride walking down the church aisle covered with petals of pink roses, but if a smaller wedding is what you want…"

"Right…" Cristina's voice trailed off as her fingers stroked his tummy.

"Cristina, are you sure you're ready?" Burke muscles tensed up a bit, even though he was much more certain about Cristina's answer now than a day ago.

Cristina looked up at him and thought hard before answering. "Babe, I can't do this whole self-disclosure thing all the time; and there'll always be things from the past that I've never told you about."

Burke's gaze on her remained steady and focused, encouraging her to continue.

"But I know what I want now. I really do, even when I say I don't know sometimes," Cristina paused, "And you, you'll be there to remind me, right?"

A soft smile overtook them as Burke tightly wrapped his warm large hand around Cristina's.

It wasn't one of those wild nights filled with incessant movement in bed, but none of them was in a hurry, for they knew the soothing presence of each other was what would keep them together as they continued their life's journey in unison.

THE END


End file.
